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Author Archives: Lance

You Will Always Remember What Came Hard And Mostly Forget What Came Easy

97. You will always remember what came hard and mostly forget what came easy.

As I arrive at this point of the book, I have begun to realize that there is a risk I am taking. Meaning, as I try to provide Tools that I believe are necessary to help you reach your goals, I may ruffle some feathers along the way. The dilemma of sounding like Mr. Perfect and a know-it-all can really turn people off. Let me reassure you, I am working on myself as much as you are trying to do. The reason I found it necessary to explain myself is because most of those falling short of goals do so because they seem too hard to reach. I believe this is a great starter Tool because if you use this to start any project, it will make you understand that building the life of your dreams is hard work.

You will understand that as you look at the life you have built, you will remember the most the areas that took the most effort. Understanding this crucial principle of building will hopefully motivate you to gravitate to the toughest of challenges and avoid the easiest of paths. It’s easy to keep this Tool short and sweet. I bet you can name three things right now that you had to work, claw and scratch for. It will take you time to remember the things that required little effort. There is a risk that comes with setting your goals too low, you just might hit them.

Make Gossip Positive

96. Make gossip positive.

We all do it. I do it. We do it so much we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Gossip is deeply intertwined in our daily fabric and almost impossible to avoid. What is under our control is how we choose to engage in this almost inevitable ritual of daily life. The first thing to identify is why we gossip. We gossip because it is much easier to talk about the lives of others than to work on our own lives.

Gossip makes our shortcomings more tolerable, but in doing so does little to improve our own situation. We can change this by making gossip a positive interaction. Meaning, if we can flip gossip from being a session of focusing on the negative aspects of others to defending or offering other perspectives to a situation, we can enhance the possibility or probability of making a gossip session a positive session.

There are many advantages to approaching gossip in this manner. By making an effort to make gossip a positive event, you may influence the perception that others have of you. If people perceive you as finding the best of a bad situation, it will definitely increase your ability of personal success. This Tool will also help you. By mentally making the effort to not find the worst in others’ situations, you will increase your ability to work on finding solutions to your present challenges. By now you must have the understanding that there is overlap in many of these Tools and it is almost impossible to avoid how they are intertwined. Shortly, you will discover Tool 100, Focus on yourself. In making an effort to avoid gossip or making it as positive as possible, you enable yourself to accomplish both.

Lastly, we are doing our best to become hammers and build our own project. We can’t build what our blueprint calls for when we are constantly focusing on the flaws of someone else’s. If you would like to increase the value of the home you are trying to build, it would only stand to reason to help your neighbor build their house as well. Those in history who are defined as leaders and winners have earned that title by helping those not able to help themselves.

WARNING: This Tool is hard to use and can cause injury while learning how to master. This is one of the hardest to master in the book and simply the attempt to use it shows a great effort on your part. While I believe we can almost never master the art of this piece of equipment, I know it can never work until you decide to pick it up. Sometimes you will use it quite well and other times you will forget that you even have it in the bag. Using it may cause you to lose some friends and family who don’t believe it even works. Proceed with caution understanding many have never even seen it. To even choose to use a Tool of this magnitude will require both a little courage and some sanding against the grain. A secret that can make this Tool easier to use is to believe that courage can be defined by helping those that can’t (or aren’t present) to defend themselves. Making gossip positive carries the same weight as standing up to a bully.

Stop Reading The Newspaper And Tabloids

95. Stop reading the newspaper and tabloids.

I am going to apologize in advance to the feelings this may hurt or to any of those in the print media. (Understanding the success of this book may depend upon periodical reviews, I may be biting the hand that would inevitably feed me, but I am obligated to tell you the truth.) In my experience the people who need the most help are those who make a daily ritual of reading the newspaper or subscribing to tabloids. There, I said it; now let me do my best to explain why.

For starters, the first complaint I hear from many is the lack of time they have to do the things they know they need to do. These would include reading books, exercising, taking time for themselves, and working on their own lives. Those who engage in reading the daily paper take time from other aspects of their lives that could be used to reach goals and improve overall happiness. Many claim they are hindered by money. Regardless of how cheap they can make a subscription to a local or national paper, this cost could be applied to other areas of necessity.

There is the issue of bias. Most modern day publications are no longer objective, thereby leading to their inevitable failure. Understanding that there are two sides to every issue, if only one side is mostly represented, the other side will simply stop reading and stop buying. Many people have said to me, “How will I know what is going on?” I would say in my experience, if there is something I need to know, most people will be talking about it. Reminding myself of issues that everyone already knows exist does little to help the problem and improve my personal growth.

Also, if we are trying to become more green and reduce waste, does this form of information make any sense? Doesn’t it contradict this new paradigm shift? Most importantly, garbage in, garbage out; meaning, you ultimately choose what you decide to put in your head. Unless you are a stock broker, why would you ever read the business section? Leave that to an expert who does that for a living and give yourself the headspace to work on more important things, namely yourself.

There are only two ways I know of to make you feel better. You can work on yourself and do the best you can to improve your situation, or you can concentrate on the downfalls of others to keep yourself above them. This is the only thing I can think of that fuels the existence of tabloid media. Focusing on the flaws of others distracts us from our own shortcomings and provides us with an excuse in meeting our own hopes and dreams. Can you imagine the difference we could make by having positive books or messages at the checkout counter? Instead we are bombarded with who looks better in a particular dress or who has put on the most weight. What if we had fruit instead of candy at checkout?

Life is not only about identifying where you want to go and what you want to be. It is also about avoiding pitfalls along the way. Every time you go to the store, they have two huge landmines right in your way. It’s no wonder we are so distracted. This Tool is not about having your head in the sand, but understanding that what you may be reading has your entire MIND in quicksand. You now understand that you choose where you decide to step.