Barwest Restaurant - Sacramento

Become More Selfish

66. Become more selfish.

I am going to assume for the sake of the story that most of you reading this have flown in a plane at least once in your life. Although most of us don’t pay attention, the attendants give a small presentation on what to do in case of an emergency. One of the things they tell you to do is if airbags are deployed, put yours on first before attending to younger children. I never thought much of it until I was looking for a good way to introduce this next Tool. The reason you put your mask on first is simple; if you are not in a good place, you can be very little help to others. Many of you starting this system have been holding yourself back due to tending to the needs of others. Doing for others is important and we all have responsibilities we must meet. The problem arises when meeting the needs of others interferes with your growth process and hinders your ability to achieve success and happiness.

A reason we often don’t work on our own success and happiness is because we have been conditioned that in doing so we are neglecting our obligations, hence being selfish. If being a little selfish will improve yourself, then in the long run others will benefit by you being in a better place. Now the nails of the world love to call people selfish. It is one thing they like to say because it keeps people at their level. Also, nails are afraid to improve themselves and when they see others trying to do so, they know going to the selfish card can really affect someone who is trying to improve themselves and their situation.

The last thing I notice with regard to this Tool is that many use others as a crutch or an excuse for not working on themselves. They can’t hit the gym because this person needs me or that person needs me. They can’t read or take time for themselves because there are too many things that need to be done around the house. They don’t do the things they need to do for themselves because the needs of others are more important. Basically, they use the martyr approach for conducting their day to day life, and in doing so have a reason why they are in the rut they find themselves in. By approaching the day as a martyr, it gives the person a feeling of being needed and having more self-worth. The problem lies when the things that they have picked martyrdom for start to go away. As the things they were responsible for disappear, they either look for new causes or find that they are now lost without others to focus on. Start to become more selfish and work on yourself. It will feel weird at first but as you start to reach new heights of success, your ability to help others will become greater. So you basically accomplish two goals: self-improvement and serving those around you better.

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