There Is Only One Group of People Who Don’t Have Problems: Dead People
22. There is only one group of people who don’t have problems, dead people.
We all have challenges, so when it seems like you are the only one having challenges, take solace in knowing you’re not. Challenges are a part of life and how we deal with them is what makes a great life. When you get to Tool 62, you will see that happy people work on solutions, unhappy people talk about problems. For now, understand that we all have things that we are dealing with. I found this Tool so helpful for so many reasons. I used to think that successful people don’t have the problems that I have. I used to think that those who do have problems didn’t have problems like mine. I also used to use the problems I had as excuses and crutches for the reasons I was being held back. The strength of this Tool is perspective.
The first mistake we make is in thinking that those who are successful don’t have problems. THEY DO. Successful people have the same problems we all do. The reason why this isn’t evident to you and me is twofold. First off, they don’t work on the problems they have, they are focused on finding solutions. The second thing is that they turn problems into challenges. What you may notice is that we all dwell on problems and let them hold us down. By flipping them to challenges, successful people are then able to focus on strategies to fix them. Knowing there is a difference allows you to separate the two. Perfect example, think of all the people you know who have “problems.” They make for an easy excuse and only take us in one direction. But when we change these problems to challenges, we open ourselves up to an action plan for solutions.
Another pitfall that we all fall into is believing our problems are worse than other people’s problems. THEY AREN’T. The truth is that all the problems we are faced with seem large. They seem larger to us because they are problems we are forced to deal with. When we make them larger than other people’s problems, it gives us an out to make them harder to deal with. It gives us the ability to fail because others aren’t dealing with what we are dealing with. The truth is that all of the challenges we face are large to us because they are our challenges. What determines the size of the fire is our ability to put it out. Meaning, if you don’t know how to tackle a problem, you won’t. The ability to deal with challenges determines the size of the problem. Hopefully the skills and systems we are putting in place right now will provide you with the ability to make these problems workable. Losing the perception that your problems are bigger than everyone else’s will give you the resolve to conquer these challenges.
The bottom line is that we all have things we are dealing with. The reason that some don’t seem to have the ones you have is that they know how to deal with them. Remember this book’s affirmation, “The road to success is always under construction.” The belief that you will be on cruise control at any point in your life will never happen. You will be constantly working on reaching new levels of success, and to do this means that you will have to deal with roadblocks that appear along the way. When you accept that we all have a full cup that we are dealing with, then the excuse factor disappears. The mindset that others are lucky or have it easy or have it better than you have is erased. If you feel you are one of the few with problems, take heart in knowing we all have challenges we are struggling to deal with. Then realize that successful people just understand how to do it.