positive mental attitude

What You Think Of Most Is What You Become

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33. What you think of most is what you become.

A large part of this system as you have now discovered is to reprogram the way you think and put in place a system that sets you up with a greater probability of success. This Tool is crucial if you need help in this re-programming process. It is widely accepted that the mind cannot tell the difference between a thought and an actual event. Understanding this helps immensely, because it reminds us to continually think of what we want and what we want to become.

There are some simple strategies you can do to help think better thoughts. The first is identifying what you do and don’t want to become. It sounds easy but you would be surprised by how many people’s goals are just to get through the day instead of building every day. The good news is that you have that accomplished already in your mission statement. So what we need to do in using this Tool is to remind ourselves constantly to pick aspects in our lives that will foster what we want to become. As we look at our environment, it is constantly playing a role in what we are thinking.

So let’s improve that environment to think more about what we want. We need to hang around people who want what we want. We need to read books and watch programs that put us in the mood and direction we are striving for. Quite simply, if you want to be a better person, hang out with better people. It is only natural that you will start to think more like them. If you want to be healthier, hang out at healthy places. Want to be a firefighter, try to hang out with firefighters so you think like they do and know what their thought processes are.

Those who constantly live in fear most often find new things to be afraid of. If you are constantly thinking every relationship you have ends up in a disaster, then what do you think will be the likely outcome? If you think negative thoughts, you get more negative; think positive thoughts and you increase that probability. If you think you are “The Man,” you walk around like someone who is and people see it. If you think about winning most of the time, then you will win most of the time.

There will be the naysayers. “So if I think like a pro athlete or a model, will I become that?” Well, not exactly, but you may start to think you are better looking and you may start doing some things that most athletes do: train hard, have wins, and help others because of the benefits they have received and accomplished from being an athlete. The truth is whatever movie you play over and over in your head, your brain is watching. If you’re playing a horror movie, no wonder you’re only surviving. If you start playing the type of show in your head you want, your brain and life will start to respond accordingly.

The Hole You Receive Through Is Only As Big As The Hole You Give Through

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32. The hole you receive through is only as big as the hole you give through.

There are so many reasons why this Tool works and why it is so right. If you are like me, you have seen the dog-eat-dog mentality. You have noticed those whose motto is to get as much as they can by any means. On the lowest level, criminals who cheat and steal basically give through no hole and what they receive is very little unless you are talking about jail time. This is one of those Tools that works on multiple levels. The first, and one you may just have to accept on a little faith, is that it’s just the way the universe works.

It’s one of those little known “secrets” that for the most part rewards those who give just as much as they receive. On a more practical level, when you give through a bigger hole, you are more likely to receive because others simply notice. You have a greater chance for referrals, being acknowledged, or just being given more opportunities because people admire your notion of “give first.” Keep in mind sincerity is a key; this Tool does not work with the sole intention of receiving more. Lastly, I think another reason one receives more by giving more is simply a better self image. When we give through a large hole, it makes us feel good about ourselves. It is obvious to see that this better self image would only naturally begin to foster success in our personal lives, thus increasing the size of the hole we receive through.

A modern day example that I think works perfectly is the mortgage industry. There was a time that it seemed half the people employed were working as brokers. Now most of those people have moved on; there are only a few who survived the crash. Why? Well, the majority of the brokers who jumped on board did so simply for their own benefit; they did it to make money to “get theirs.” They put clients in products and loans that they knew were bad ones. The hole they gave through was very small and the hole they received from now no longer exists.

On the other hand, I know a few people who survived. How did they do this? Their motivation was to make a profit just like the other guys, but they did so by doing right by the client. So in essence what they have done is kept their existing client base for future business, and they have the ability to pick up new clients by earning the reputation of doing the right thing for their customer. The hole they are receiving from still exists and will become larger because they gave through a big hole to start. Keep in mind when discussing the hole we receive through, we are not just talking about money. Imagine the good feeling the ethical brokers now have by doing right by their clients. Wealth is measured in many ways.

I struggled in this department as well. I was consumed by insurance adjusters and companies refusing to pay claims. I was constantly worried about things in the office. I often found that all the distractions took me away from the things I enjoyed about private practice. Then that all changed when I put my personal mission statement online and made it my mission to serve others. After that, nothing else mattered much. At the end of the day I would count how many patients I treated and that was how many people I served and lives I changed. When I started doing that, my income and satisfaction greatly increased, hence increasing my wealth, simply by focusing on the hole going out, not what was coming back in.

Review The Wins You Have Each Week

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24. Review the wins you have each week.

As we play the game of life, we will have wins and losses. We must first accept that both exist and will occur. You will have things you did right and things you did wrong. What we are trying to do during the game is to have more wins than losses. In using this logic, we think of wins and losses as two sides to a scale or a balance sheet. This thinking is flawed when evaluating success.

This Tool works by giving added weight to wins and devaluing losses to the realm of redirection. For the sake of this Tool, let’s simply say each win is a step forward and each loss is a step sideways. What I want you to do is look at wins as positive and losses as neutral. Now I understand that some losses can be bigger than others. I also understand some major losses can be larger setbacks in our crusade towards success. For now just humor me in my endeavor to make a point. The point, you are doing a lot right and you don’t even know it.

For many of you this should be one of the first Tools you choose to install in your blueprint. Reason, identifying wins accomplishes many things. The first being you may not even realize that you are doing things right. When we focus on all the shortcomings we have, we only work on shortcomings. When we accentuate and celebrate the things we are doing right, we strengthen those things that are working. We need to give more power to wins and use losses as ways to refocus. You first need to know you can run to know you can run a mile. In the same respect, you need to see that you are doing things right to know you can do other things right. The only way you can know this is to celebrate the “right.”

This Tool is used by forcing you to change your assessment of how the week went; meaning instead of dwelling on negatives, celebrate positives. You will find this hard to do at first. The negatives are easy because they cause pain and we have come to accept them and expect them. We need to retrain our mind to look for wins and expect them to happen. By doing so, we open the door for more wins and allow them to happen.

Also, when we identify wins for the week, we increase the probability they will continue, thus increasing the likelihood of them becoming habit. Simply list all the wins you have each week. Don’t worry about how big, small or obscure. The point is to enforce the direction of wins and successes. By doing more to pave the road towards success, you will open the door for additional achievements. Knowing you can accomplish will allow you to accomplish.

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