The Five Minute Rule for Managing Your Anger

6. The Five Minute Rule

We don’t have a lot of time on this earth. It is so important that we use all the strategies we can to keep our minds in good headspace. What I mean by this is not wasting brain power on particular things that we have control over. Depending upon who you are and your personal situation, there are probably things that occur that make you mad. I mean we all have things that bother us now and then, and for the most part that is inevitable.

In the past when I’d get mad about something, it would consume me. I would spend a day or two steaming, talking about it to whoever would listen. When this happened, other aspects of my life suffered, including work, family and friends. They didn’t do anything wrong so why should they have to suffer for something that had me all worked up? So in turn not only was I in a bad place inside my head, but the things in the world around me were negatively affected and responded accordingly.

Even if you are the type of person who keeps it “inside,” those around you sense it. To prove it, when they feel it they say, “Is something wrong?” I don’t even want to get into the health issues and physiological effects that anger has on a person. With regard to this blog, we are talking about building success in your life, and anger does not play well with a happy successful life. The truth is, you probably aren’t mad enough to go to anger management. You just need a new Tool in your toolbox when the need arises.

You now have it: the five minute rule. Warning, this Tool takes some practice to master. A rule I utilize when something disturbs me is to not let it bother me for more than five minutes. I look at my watch and stew about it for five minutes, then do my best to let it go. I know that in an hour or a day I will be over it, so why not shorten that time to five minutes and be done with it?

This takes some practice and in the beginning will be hard to do. If you have something bugging you and the five minute rule is not working, then use the ten minute rule. Here’s the point, if you don’t have a strategy to let go of your anger, you won’t. In addition, when you let something keep you angry for a long period of time, they or it wins. Sometimes I found that I was more angry over being angry! I sometimes didn’t even know why I was mad. As I began to work with this Tool, I was able to control anger.

Here is a bonus, when I really got good at this Tool, I found that in general I was less angry and disturbed by things. Why? Because I made a mental choice that I didn’t like the feeling of anger and I didn’t like how it affected the things that mattered to me, like work, family and friends. When you get really good at this, you find others will get angry for you and sometimes mad that you aren’t mad. Remember, angry people are not happy and part of a successful life is a happy one. So we must eliminate the things that hold us back and anger is at the top of the list.

We all know those people who are still angry over something that happened months or years ago, and chances are they are not experiencing a lot of growth and are probably in a pretty bad place. Use this Tool if anger is holding you back from having the success you desire and deserve.