You Never Get A Second Chance At A First Impression
12. You never get a second chance at a first impression.
When something provides value, it possesses the ability to stand the test of time. This is no different when making a first impression. Why is this such an integral part of fostering success? Because once someone has their mind set, it is very difficult to change them. What I mean is when a person forms that first impression about someone, they have that person labeled and labels are hard to change.
There is a premise known as the self-fulfilling prophecy. We all do this and it is very hard not to. What happens with this phenomenon is that the person has a belief of someone’s skills, abilities or characteristics. So if I think someone is always late, any time they are late reinforces my belief of that person.
Even if the person really is habitually late, since I have labeled them as a “late person” they never get credit for being on time but further my belief every time they are late. Coaches are often cautioned on doing the same thing. If they think a player is good, they will spend extra time assisting them to improve their game and in turn they get better. If they are just happy when a kid “tries hard,” they say nice job, Johnny, and send them back to the end of the line.
Are you beginning to see how first impressions can cause an implant into someone’s brain? I am not saying it is right to judge people in this fashion. But the fact remains that most people’s minds are wired this way and by knowing this, you may need to use this Tool to accomplish some goals and successes that you have had difficulty reaching.
“Well, I should be able to be how I want to be or wear what I want to wear.” You’re correct, you do have that right, but you may have to lower some expectations. Let me give you an example. I knew a young professional who was very bright and had a lot going for him. While he was in graduate school, he used to dress like a punk rocker. He had a very difficult time getting people to take him seriously. In addition, jobs and internships were hard to come by because, even when cleaned up, you could still tell that something wasn’t right. Even when wearing a suit, he had a way of assigning a punk twist to it and little could be done to make colored hair look right.
This young man had a lot to say and many things that he hoped to accomplish. To reach these aspirations, he needed a platform and an arena to do so. What did he do? He toned down his image. He realized that while he had things that he wanted to do and say, the possibility of reaching his goals would increase if he could reach more people and find more open doors of opportunity. So he made this a reality by not changing who he was but conforming a bit to what the general public was comfortable with.
Now I am not telling you to march like a good drummer boy or girl and be what others want you to be. But people’s image or first impression of you will open more opportunities to you. If you decide you are not willing to change to reach your goals, that’s fine too, but be willing to accept that it may be harder to reach the goals you desire. Think of your first impression with someone as planting a seed. If the seed you plant is going to grow weeds, don’t be surprised when you don’t get an apple tree. If you plant a positive image from the start, you will have little hedge work to perform later.