asking the right questions

The Best Cure For Sluggish Mind Is To Disturb Its Routine

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102. The best cure for a sluggish mind is to disturb its routine.

Your brain is simply a computer and a computer can only work based upon what input is given to that computer and how the computer is wired. We earlier covered how the things we believe, shows we watch, and things we read serve as the input for our computer. When these inputs equal garbage, it is very little surprise that the output matches the input. Our routines of daily living are the way we decide to approach the day each day.

It is the routine mechanism that over time builds the wiring pathways we have in our brain. When the routine is repeated over and over and over, the wiring has a habit to become “hard wired” and with this, it affects the ability for the brain to do things other than the way it has been conditioned. The good news is just as these inputs can be changed, we can also rewire the pathways that exist.

Some very simple things you can do for starters are to change some simple everyday things around you. Rearrange the furniture in your house. Change when you go to bed and when you get up in the morning. Mix up a bit what you have for lunch or find a new place to go. Change the way that you drive to work. When I drive to work I have two options. I can take the quicker route which has a major three-lane merge to make a very small window. It can get annoying because many times others won’t let you over or speed up on you when you do. I often found myself getting a little angry at these people. So by taking the earlier exit, which takes me about five minutes longer to get to work and has a few more lights, I arrive to work in a much better mindset.

Also I used to get to work just minutes before we started, and so I was rushing and trying to make every light and had a sense of urgency to not be late. I now get up much earlier than I used to, thus allowing me to take the longer way to work, starting my day off right, and changing the outcome at the end of my day. Changing routines may show you an easier way of doing things or they may just make you feel better about your day.

We discussed earlier that change is uncomfortable and that’s why we choose to avoid it. We also mentioned that if you want to know what your life will look like five years from now, don’t change a thing. By shaking things up and moving this around, it gives you new perspectives and allows you to see things in a new way. This is why a change of scenery for people can often jumpstart success. It allows the brain to break the wired chains it has developed over time and gives you the opportunity to work on goals and achieve them. Unless you know to change your old routines, you never will. So implement this Tool if you are trying to get out of the rut you are currently in.

Happy People Work On Solutions, Unhappy People Talk About Problems

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62. Happy people work on solutions, unhappy people talk about problems.

By now you know one thing is for certain, what you make of your life is mostly decided by how you choose to approach it. Do you choose to be a hammer in life and take control or play the victim and be a nail? How you choose to approach the challenges in your life will determine where you go and how long you will be there. The first way that people can deal with adversity in their lives is to talk about it. They often will talk about it to anyone who will listen, even people they don’t know very well. The reason they have to talk to total strangers is because the people who do know them avoid them because they don’t want to hear about all their problems for the 100th time. Not only do they always talk about their problems, but they always seem to have a new one to talk about. You just want to say to these people, why don’t you do something about it then? The “problem” with that is it would require finding a solution.

Solutions are more difficult to work on. They require a level of effort that only winners can work on. That’s why winners are mostly happy because they don’t sit in a pool of problems. They know the amount of time they will be in any particular problem will be short lived because when they have a problem, they instantly start looking for a solution. Even better, when they find a solution to a problem, it becomes a win for them and that’s why they are winners and that’s why they are happy. For the person who talks about problems, this is the only way they can get others to feel like they do. Instead of finding a way to get out of a situation and the way it feels, they would just rather have others feel like they do. Unfortunately, it’s not hard to find others to listen. Remember, there are a lot more nails than there are hammers. So finding someone to listen to your problems is easy now and then because they get to share their problems with you. To become a hammer you need to build and building is a solution. Nails sit around waiting and when you wait and don’t act, more problems are bound to come.

You Never Get A Second Chance At A First Impression

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12. You never get a second chance at a first impression.

When something provides value, it possesses the ability to stand the test of time. This is no different when making a first impression. Why is this such an integral part of fostering success? Because once someone has their mind set, it is very difficult to change them. What I mean is when a person forms that first impression about someone, they have that person labeled and labels are hard to change.

There is a premise known as the self-fulfilling prophecy. We all do this and it is very hard not to. What happens with this phenomenon is that the person has a belief of someone’s skills, abilities or characteristics. So if I think someone is always late, any time they are late reinforces my belief of that person.

Even if the person really is habitually late, since I have labeled them as a “late person” they never get credit for being on time but further my belief every time they are late. Coaches are often cautioned on doing the same thing. If they think a player is good, they will spend extra time assisting them to improve their game and in turn they get better. If they are just happy when a kid “tries hard,” they say nice job, Johnny, and send them back to the end of the line.

Are you beginning to see how first impressions can cause an implant into someone’s brain? I am not saying it is right to judge people in this fashion. But the fact remains that most people’s minds are wired this way and by knowing this, you may need to use this Tool to accomplish some goals and successes that you have had difficulty reaching.

“Well, I should be able to be how I want to be or wear what I want to wear.” You’re correct, you do have that right, but you may have to lower some expectations. Let me give you an example. I knew a young professional who was very bright and had a lot going for him. While he was in graduate school, he used to dress like a punk rocker. He had a very difficult time getting people to take him seriously. In addition, jobs and internships were hard to come by because, even when cleaned up, you could still tell that something wasn’t right. Even when wearing a suit, he had a way of assigning a punk twist to it and little could be done to make colored hair look right.

This young man had a lot to say and many things that he hoped to accomplish. To reach these aspirations, he needed a platform and an arena to do so. What did he do? He toned down his image. He realized that while he had things that he wanted to do and say, the possibility of reaching his goals would increase if he could reach more people and find more open doors of opportunity. So he made this a reality by not changing who he was but conforming a bit to what the general public was comfortable with.

Now I am not telling you to march like a good drummer boy or girl and be what others want you to be. But people’s image or first impression of you will open more opportunities to you. If you decide you are not willing to change to reach your goals, that’s fine too, but be willing to accept that it may be harder to reach the goals you desire. Think of your first impression with someone as planting a seed. If the seed you plant is going to grow weeds, don’t be surprised when you don’t get an apple tree. If you plant a positive image from the start, you will have little hedge work to perform later.

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